Those Are Some Killer Pants

I work customer service for a local retail store, and I often deal with customers wanting to return a wide variety of items for a wide variety of reasons. My location has a frighteningly lax return policy, but up until now, I haven’t experienced first-hand how big of a problem it can be.

Customer: “Hi, I need to return these pants.”

Me: “Of course.”

I quickly log in to my computer.

Me: “Did you have any issue with this item? Or was it just not what you needed?”

Customer: “Oh, no. No problem. We just don’t need it anymore.”

I start to search the item for a tag and start turning it inside out when I can’t find one. The customer waits quietly while I search but apparently feels the need to break the silence after a minute or two.

Customer: “My father passed this week, you see.”

Me: “Oh…”

I am completely unprepared for a confession like that.

Me: “I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “We bought a lot of pants like this to make him comfortable. He really loved this brand.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “These pants haven’t been worn, though.” 

Me: “Right.”

There are noticeable lint and fibers from some kind of bedding on the pants.

Customer: “My father only wore the mediums for his last three days or so.”

I look down at the big M on the inside label of the pants.

Me: “…”

After digging around in her purse for a while, the customer found the receipt for the pants, and I had to return these pants that she had heavily implied her father died in.

After the customer left, I threw the pants in our defect bin, poured sanitizer on my hands until it was all I could smell, and tried to go on with my shift. When I got home that night, I threw my entire uniform into the wash, and took a shower. I still feel kind of ill.