This Was Before He Started Lobbing Cantaloupes

Me: “If I can just get your signature there…”

Elderly Customer: *scribbles his name, then starts drawing on the counter*

Me: “Uh… sir?”

Elderly Customer: *starts drawing up the side of the cash register*

Me: “Sir? You just… sign your name.”

Elderly Customer: *doodles in the air, up and up… and then jabs me in the forehead with the pen and tries to draw on my face*

Me: *Jerking back violently.* “What the h***?”

Elderly Customer: “Reactions like that would have gotten you killed in the war!”

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