This Used To Confuse Me, Too… When I Was Seven…
Years ago, I had a gentleman in his mid-forties come into my bar and sit at the bar rail. He wasn’t too concerned about drinking and asked for a food menu right away. He ended up going with a special we had at the time.
Customer: “I’ll have that salad you guys are running this week. That sounds really good. Could I get that with no dairy?”
Me: “Sure! I don’t think there’s any dairy in the dressing or anything, but I’ll be sure to let the kitchen know to hold any dairy just to be safe.”
The salad came out, and the customer immediately called for me from across the bar.
Customer: “I told you I didn’t want any dairy in this. Can you have the kitchen remake it?”
I looked over his salad.
Me: “Yeah, I’m happy to. Did they put cheese on it or something and I’m just not seeing it?”
The customer held up a forkful of his salad and pointed to it.
Customer: “No, genius. Not cheese. This! This is the problem!”
Me: “…the egg?”
Customer: “Duh!”
Me: “Eggs aren’t a dairy product.”
Customer: “Well, you get it in the dairy section at the store, don’t you? What would you call it?”
Me: “An egg. Dairy means it’s made from milk.”
Customer: “No, dairy means you buy it in the dairy section.”
Me: “So, you want it with no dairy and no egg? That’s no problem; I can have them remake it for you.”
Customer: “No. I want it with no dairy. And that means no egg.”
Me: “I’m really not trying to be rude; I’m just telling you to make your life easier. In the future, if you ask for no dairy somewhere, they won’t take the egg out of whatever you’re eating.”
Customer: “We’ll see about that.”
I have no doubt that the next time this guy walked past the dairy section of a grocery store, he nodded to himself in mistaken confirmation that he was right all along as he saw the eggs next to the milk.
