This Testing Is Testing

(Part of my job is overseeing operations performed by fellow employees who are working remotely from their homes. In this instance, there is an employee who is supposed to be connected to a modem — yes, they are still in use — but she is having trouble dialing in. I decide to see if I can get into the modem from here in our office, and if it works, I’ll simply connect our employee to us and use the connection that way. This is all a very common practice. I explain my plan to the employee, put her on hold, and successfully dial the modem. I pick her back up.)

Me: “Okay, [Employee], I was able to get into that modem here.”

Employee: “Okay, great.”

(I then hear the notorious sound of a modem being dialed in the background.)

Me: “Oh, wait. I’m still dialed into that. You won’t be able to get in yet.”

Employee: “Oh. Did you want me to connect through you guys?”

Me: *holding back a sigh* “We can do it that way, yes.”

(I give the employee the information she needs to connect, and I hit “dial” on the modem again. The number dials out, but I then get a busy signal instead of a handshake.)

Me: “[Employee], did you hang up that modem on your end? I’m getting a busy signal here.”

Employee: “Yep, I’m not connected. I turned off my modem so it would stop dialing.”

(I groan internally. Turning off the modem unfortunately doesn’t disconnect the number, so it’s in limbo, with neither of us able to connect — again. I call the client, ask them to reset the modem, and wait for a call back when it’s clear. They do so, and I get back into the modem. The client asks if we can send some test data through.)

Me: “Okay, [Employee], we’re back in. Do you want to send some test data through really quick?”

Employee: “Sure.”

Me: “Okay, one second while I check with them.”

(I then sit on the phone with the client for well over a minute, MUCH longer than a test should take to appear, with them seeing no data come through. I pick up the employee again.)

Me: “[Employee], are you sending ‘test’ through?”

Employee: “Oh, not yet. I was waiting for you to let me know when.”

Me: *loses all hope*

(We did test successfully after that.)