This Story Is Disgusting!

I’m the author of this story. This is from when my brother and I were younger; I was eleven, and my autistic brother was five. Now, my mom, being a smart mother, would always make sure we went to family-friendly venues if we’d go out. My idiotic know-it-all sperm donor, not so much.

One time when my brother was in this interesting linguistic phase, my father wanted to go to a convention out of state and take us with him to turn it into a family vacation. The convention was at a rather nice business hotel. Despite being a large hotel, we might have been the only family there. I’m sure the poor hotel workers and other patrons were thrilled.

One night there, my mom took us kids to go eat dinner at their fancy restaurant. My sperm donor was busy with his all-important convention. We made a point to go early to avoid most other patrons and make it easier on everyone. My brother got some noodle dish, and I’m guessing it was the best thing he’d ever eaten. He loved it. Unfortunately, my dear little brother had somehow gotten it into his head that the word “disgusting” meant really good. So, envision this: a fancy restaurant, mirrored walls, golden chairs, white table cloths, other diners dressed in suits, and a five-year-old repeatedly screaming, “IT’S DISGUSTING!” very gleefully. 

The poor waiter ran up to us a few times. My mom and I were doing our best to shush him, taking it in turns to try and educate him on the meaning of the word, telling him he needed to be quieter, and just desperately trying to distract him.

It was all to no avail. Throughout the entire dinner, he continued to exuberantly exclaim how truly disgusting his food was. After all, this was truly the most disgustingly good meal he’d ever eaten, and he wanted to show true appreciation. My mom and I hurried the meal as quickly as we could, apologizing to the poor, horrified waiter each time he came over.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, we escaped, paid the bill, and ran back to our room. We never dared step into that restaurant again. At least my sperm donor enjoyed his convention.

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