This Story Has A Soggy Bottom

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2019

(I work in a mainstream pizza chain. I have already dealt with one person who flat-out lied and got caught trying to get free food. My policy is that if you want it replaced, you bring it back.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Could I interest you in [current special]?”

Caller: “No, I need to speak to the manager.”

Me: “Speaking.”

Caller: “I was in there like ten or fifteen minutes ago and my pizzas are soggy. I come in there all the time.”

(I don’t recognize her voice or name at all.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that. If you bring them back, we would be more than happy to replace them for you.”

Caller: “I have to bring them back? I could just bring one and show you.”

Me: “No, you have to bring all three if you want all three replaced.”

Caller: “So, I have to put my four kids in the car and bring all three back?”

Me: “Well, were you just going to bring one and leave your kids home alone with the other two?”

Caller: “I used to work there. I know the f****** policy. I don’t have to bring it back. And you aren’t taking it. You can’t take food back over the counter.”

(I get her name. She’s never worked for me and she didn’t work for the manager before me. Honestly, I’m quite concerned that she’s cursing in front of her kids that I can hear in the background.)

Me: “Well, that’s nice, but you aren’t getting anything without bringing the product back, because the policy on replacements is manager specific and it’s been this way for almost a year now. And now you’re going to bring in your ID to verify who you are, because I just got off the phone with someone trying to scam food.”

Caller: “Well, if I bring it back, then I get new f****** pizzas and you aren’t f****** taking the old ones. I could just put those in the oven and crisp them up.”

Me: “Fine, but you’re still bringing all three back and bringing your ID in.”

(She hung up. I don’t know if she just wanted me to bend to her will or what. The replacement policy is done to lower the number of scammers, which it does. I told my co-manager to keep an eye out for the crazy lady with the soggy pizzas and four kids. She still hasn’t shown up.)

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