This Situation Will Just Snake Along, Part 2
The aquarium I volunteer at will occasionally bring live animals out on the floor for people to touch and learn about. This lovely bit of almost-dialogue happens while I am wearing/holding my favorite snake, a four-and-a-half-foot, almost forty-pound Dumeril’s Boa named Mav.
Dude: “Whoa! Snake! I love snakes!”
Me: “Want to pet him? He’s a D—”
Dude: “She’s a reticulated python, yeah?”
He begins petting the snake backward, against the grain of his scales. This tends to have the same effect as petting a cat backward.
Me: “No, he is a B—”
Dude: “Baby Burmese python, yeah. The blue eyes are cool. Really rare.”
He is still petting backward.
Me: “Um, no. They just look blue because he’s going to shed soon, and he’s actually an adult B—”
Dude: “Ball python, right! Right, ri—”
Me: “HE. IS. A. BOA.”
The dude just blinks.
Me: “He’s a Dumeril’s Boa. They live in Madagascar.”
Dude: “Wait, like, a boaconstrictor?”
He says, “Boa constrictor,” quickly, as one word.
Me: “It’s just ‘boa’. The ‘constrictor’ part is redundant. All boas, pythons, and most other non-venomous snakes are constri—”
Dude: *Yelling* “HEY, [FRIEND], COME CHECK OUT THIS BOACONSTRICTOR!”
If Mav had hands, even HE would have facepalmed.
Related:
This Situation Will Just Snake Along
Question of the Week
Tell us your story about a customer who couldn't understand the most simple concept.
