This S*** Is Expensive

(I am the only cashier working in a fairly busy convenience store. A small elderly woman comes up to the counter with a few laxative-based items.)

Customer: *sweetly* “Can you price-check these for me, dear? I only have [amount] and I need to make sure I don’t spend too much.”

Me: “Sure!” *rings up items* “Your total today is [more than what she has].”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! How much should I have to pay to take a s***?!”

(I am taken aback by this funny exclamation, as it is coming from a sweet old lady. So, I say the only thing I can think of at the time:)

Me: “The struggle is real, ma’am.”

Customer: *sighing* “Why, yes, it is, sweetie. Can you put everything on a credit card?”