This Retail Tail Smacks Of Impossible Demands

Our tale begins with a devilishly handsome retail worker in a [Computer Store] that has a video games section. This retail worker is pretty well versed in games and pop culture, so he was a shoo-in for the job.

In comes the antagonist of our story. A customer stomps in, looks among the games, and grabs two of them. In a shocking bout of wisdom, the customer approaches the retail worker and holds up both games.

Customer: “Which is best for a ten-year-old boy?”

The games in question? “Grand Theft Auto 4” — new at the time — and “Sonic’s Sega Collection”, both on PlayStation 3. Now, what did this retail worker do? Well, obviously, be a very responsible salesman and tell the customer that the Sega Collection is best, waxing poetic about how the retail worker grew up on those games and enjoyed them when he was ten years old.

The customer holds both games and deliberates for roughly ten minutes. This time, the customer decides to go against the retail worker’s best judgement and buy “Grand Theft Auto 4”. The worker thinks nothing of it, just the usual when it comes to customers like this.

But this is not where the tale ends. Oh, no, no. This honorable knight isn’t prepared for this dragon’s fiery breath.

The next day, our still handsome rogue of a retail worker has a weird feeling, that which feels like Spider-Man’s “Spidey Sense”. There the monster is when the store opens, clearly angry.

Customer: “You sold me a game that had violence, sex, and curse words in it!”

The roguish knight is taken aback! He musters up his courage, looks this dragon in the eye, and responds with the most customer-friendly voice.

Worker: “Ma’am, if I recall, I did suggest a better game for your ten-year-old: the Sega Collection.“

This is his fatal mistake; using logic against a chaotic being will be his undoing and leave him mentally scarred for eternity. The monster rears its ugly head and spews these words:

Customer: “Well, maybe you should’ve been a more assertive salesman and smacked the game out of my hands!”

The words pierced the worker’s heart; the amount of Stupidity-elemental damage got past his armor and it was a critical hit to his logic stat. With the customer screaming for aid from the manager, he told her to leave the store.