This Report Is About To Pop  

, , , , | Working | February 10, 2020

(We have a report with the acronym “CHRY” which we often refer to as the “cherry.” It’s deadline day, so I am making my rounds for the departments who have yet to submit theirs. I walk into the commercial administrator’s office and notice she is with someone I don’t recognise.)

Me: “Oops, sorry to interrupt. Is your cherry ready?”

Commercial Admin: “It will be soon, just—”

Commercial Manager: “Excuse me?”

Commercial Admin: “Oh, this is [My Name], the site manager. And this is [Commercial Manager], the commercial manager for [Site in Central Scotland].”

Commercial Manager: “What did you just ask this woman?

Me: “It’s a report. The deadline is today.”

Commercial Manager: “No. I’m pretty sure you just asked her if she’s had her cherry popped!”

(The commercial admin and I share a glance.)

Commercial Admin: “I can assure you, he did not. Look, it’s probably easier…”

(She logs into her PC and the report comes up.)

Commercial Admin: “See—” *points at the header* “C H R Y…”

Commercial Manager: “I don’t see what that has to do with virginity!”

Commercial Admin: “No. CHRY, it spells cherry. We call this report the cherry. He was asking me if I’d finished my part of the report.”

(It finally clicks and the manager starts blushing.)

Commercial Manager: “Oh… I guess this happens a lot with new people?”

Commercial Admin: *before I can sympathetically agree* “No, you’re the first.”

(I later received the report with a note saying the commercial manager apologised for the accusation. Our admin later confirmed that the manager was adamant nothing she did was wrong, neither with the misunderstanding, nor the accusation, but after talking she agreed to let our admin apologise for her. Apparently, this is how she operates; anything wrong is swiftly denied and ignored. She must be murder to work with.)

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