This Relationship Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On (Let Alone Eight)

CONTENT WARNING: Animal Abuse, Spider

Years ago, I worked at an answering service, taking calls for a vet clinic’s emergency line after hours. I have numerous stories from this place, but this one has always stuck out to me.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Vet Clinic] emergency line. How may I help you?”

Caller: *Clearly upset* “I need to bring in my baby to be seen. My boyfriend just threw him across the room and into a wall! I think one of his legs is broken. I just wanted my boyfriend to see that he is nice.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of animal is it?”

Caller: “A tarantula.”

I try not to let my arachnophobia come through my voice.

Me: “Okay, I’ll contact the vet and have them get ahold of you.”

I proceed to call the vet and explain the situation, and when I get to telling them it is a tarantula with a broken leg, the vet breaks out in laughter. 

Vet: *Between tears of laughter* “I’ll call her, but what does she want me to do? Give it a splint or a peg leg since it’s going to fall off?”

To this day, I wonder what happened to Peg Leg Spidey…