This Lip Balm Is The Bomb

(I am male. I am going through airport security when they’re talking about putting small containers of liquid in a bag. I realize that the lip balm I brought with me might be seen as liquidy enough to meet the restrictions. My TSA agent is female.)

Me: “What about lip balm?”

TSA Agent: “Lip gloss… Lip gloss goes in the bag.”

Me: “Uh, it’s just lip balm.”

TSA Agent: “Lip gloss goes in the bag.”

Me: “But it’s lip balm!”

TSA Agent: “In the bag.”

(As a guy, I was very confused about her calling it lip gloss… until I realized that I use a regional pronunciation that doesn’t enunciate the L in words like “balm,” and she was trying to stop me from essentially saying “bomb” in airport security. Though grateful, I always look back on this incident as very weird. Couldn’t she have called it lip moisturizer or something?)