This Lesson Took A Bad Turn

(Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that driver’s-ed teachers have a hell of a job. But I swear my instructor was just making things worse for himself. This is just one example.)

Instructor: “Okay, so, you’re going to make this turn coming up.”

Me: “Okay.” *slows down and moves to turn the wheel*

Instructor: “No! Too soon! Wait!”

Me: “Um… okay…”

(I’ve slowed down quite a bit now because he’s made me nervous.)

Instructor: “Not yet!”

(We’re now half-the-car through the intersection.)

Instructor: “Waaaait…”

(The nose of the car is now almost PAST the intersection.)

Instructor: “NOW! TURN TURN TURN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

(I try to turn, but this is hindered by the fact that we are WAY too far past the turn-off, and the fact that immediately after yelling for me to turn my instructor slams on his failsafe brake, and I end up almost in the grass on the corner.)

Instructor: *turning to me* “So, you turned too wide.”

Me: “…?!”

(Now having been a driver for almost a decade, I have learned that there is, in fact, a window of more than a nanosecond in which you can make a right turn. I give some credit to this instructor for the fact that I’m STILL a nervous driver.)