This Lady’s Got Balls And She’ll Bowl You Right Over

I am at the bowling alley where my brother is a manager, practicing for a bowling league I’m in. A young kid comes up to me and asks to use my bowling ball.

Me: “Sorry, kid. I don’t think you could pick it up even if I let you.”

Kid: “Aww, okay.”

Later, the kid’s mother comes up to me.

Mother: “Hey! Give my kid your bowling ball, now!”

Me: “No. It’s fourteen pounds. Your kid is like seven; he could not lift it, let alone bowl with it.”

Mother: “Too bad! Give me it, now!”

Me: “No, lady, I’m using it. I still have two more games to bowl, and when I’m done, I’m packing up my bowling balls and leaving.”

Mother: “You can’t steal them! I’m telling the manager!”

Me: “Oh, please do.”

Mother: *To my brother* “Someone is stealing four bowling balls on lane four!”

My brother remembers what lane he put me on.

Brother: “Okay, I’ll go check.” *Coming over to me* “Man, that lady’s crazy!”

Me: “I know, right?”

Mother: “Since the manager won’t do anything, give me those balls!”

Me: “No, lady. I paid for these with my money!”

Mother: “TOO BAD!”

She tried to take the balls from me and was promptly kicked out.