This Kind Of Parenting Is Not To Be Sneezed At  

I’m in the store shopping when I stop to tie my shoe. When I look up to stand back up, there is a child staring at me, standing within spitting distance. She looks sickly, so I’m about to ask her if she needs help, when she very suddenly and violently sneezes directly into my open eyes and all over the rest of my face. I look like Bill Murray in Ghostbusters when he got slimed, but only on my face. The kid runs off, and I’m left gagging.

I then later got pink eye in both eyes and a bad case of strep throat. Thanks, kid. And thanks, mom, for bringing your sick kid into the store.