This Kid Is Having A Whale Of A Time
I’m on a whale watching tour, about half an hour off the coast, gently bobbing along with a boat full of camera-wielding tourists. The guide – apparently new – starts speaking into the mic.
Guide: “Keep your eyes peeled, if we’re lucky, we might see an orca today. They’re one of the biggest types of whales out there!”
A small hand shoots up from the front row. A kid, maybe around six or seven, politely explains:
Kid: “Uh… orcas are dolphins. But they’re the biggest kind of dolphin!”
Guide: *Blinks.* “Right… dolphins, which are a kind of whale.”
Kid: “They’re both cetaceans, but whales and dolphins are different branches.”
The guide nods tightly and moves on.
Guide: “If we see a humpback, listen for their call! They make noise by blowing air through their blowholes.”
The kid puts his hand up again.
Guide: *Sighs.* “What?”
Kid: “Um… they sing using their larynx. Not their blowholes. The blowhole is just for breathing.”
People around the kid chuckle. The guide does not.
Guide: “Okay, Dr. Marine Biologist. You seem to know a lot. You wanna lead the tour?”
The kid looks at his mom. She gives him the tiniest “go on” nod.
Two minutes later, the kid is standing proudly at the bow, mic in both hands like a seasoned presenter.
Kid: “Hi! If we see any whales, check for the shape of the blow, Blue whales spray straight up, and Humpbacks do a bushier V-shape. Oh! And Gray whales usually have barnacles on their backs.”
We see some whales a few minutes later and can actually identify them using this method.
Kid: “They migrate from Alaska to Mexico every year; that’s farther than any other mammal on earth. Also, the males sing to attract mates, and some sing the same song all season! And—OH! Tail slap! Eleven o’clock!”
The whole boat whips left. Sure enough, a whale flings its tail into the air like it’s waving directly at him. The crowd erupts in applause.
Kid: “And if you liked that, don’t forget to tip your new guide!”
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