This Job Is Sliding Downhill

I’m working as a lifeguard, and I’m currently stationed at the top of our pool’s slides. My job is to send kids down the slide spaced out so they don’t run into each other.

Kid #1: “Will you tell me when I can go?”

Me: “Yes.”

I watch the slides to see when it’s clear.

Kid #1: “Can I go yet?”

Me: *Seeing the slide isn’t clear* “Not yet—”

The kid goes down the slide.

Kid #2: “Will you tell me when to go?”

Me: “Yes.”

Internally: “That’s my literal job.”