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This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, Or Clean Bottoms!

, , , , , , | Working | November 23, 2020

This happens just after the restrictions are eased in England; things are still scary, but we are slowly getting back to normal.

I am back in the office with only a percentage of the workforce.

I see a guy I don’t recognise making his way down the desks, stopping at every person. He has something in his hand but I don’t pay him any attention.

As he gets closer, I notice it’s a toilet roll, unwrapped but new. I wonder what is going on, so when he steps to my desk, I pay him attention.

Coworker: “Want to buy any toilet roll? I can get you as much as you want.”

Me: “What?! No. I’ll buy it from the shops.”

He looks frustrated; he has made it all the way to the end of the office, I’m guessing without a sale.

Coworker: “Come on! I will give you a fair price, and a discount if you buy a hundred. You won’t be able to buy them in the shops soon.”

Me: “Only because idiots like you are buying them all. Piss off.”

Admittedly, I am out of line with my language, so when a manager approaches, looking stern, I think the worst.

Manager: “What is going on?”

Me: “Nothing, sorry.”

Manager: *To my coworker* “What are you doing here? You don’t work on this floor.”

Coworker: “Just trying to help out my fellow coworkers.”

The manager looks him up and down.

Manager: “Follow me.”

They both disappeared and I thought nothing more about it. I heard a week later someone was marched off site and sacked.

Apparently, one of the senior managers was really ill with the serious spreading illness and had serious problems getting basic food and drink for his young family, so the company took no sympathy for idiots trying to exploit others or hoard for themselves.

The fact that he was using work time to go around all of the offices sealed his fate.

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