This Is Not The Checkout You Are Looking For

(I am shopping at a major retail store that sells everything from groceries to tires. Normally I use self-checkout, but I know this will be expensive so I decide to go to a register instead. I am male and the cashier is female.)

Cashier: “Hello, how are you today?”

Me: *while unloading a number of ‘Star Wars’ themed pictures on the belt* “Fine, thanks.”

Cashier: *now looking over what I am buying* “You must be single, right?”

Me: “What? Oh, uh, yeah.”

Cashier: “I knew it. No one with a girlfriend would be allowed to buy these.” *looking over each piece before scanning it* “I certainly wouldn’t let you decorate our house with this.”

(I’m 24 and the cashier most likely in her late 40s.)

Me: *now slightly uncomfortable that I am being judged by a cashier for my love of ‘Star Wars’* “Uh huh.”

(The cashier at this point is now verbally judging each piece saying things like “oh, this isn’t too bad,” or “that is much too scary to hang.”)

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Me: “Thanks.”

(I pay and start gathering up my bags.)

Cashier: *just as I am about to walk away* “Make sure you hide those before you invite any girls over.”

(I roll my eyes as I promise to myself that I will use the self-checkout next time.)

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