This Is Not Her Turf

, , , | Right | July 6, 2020

This happens a few years ago at a former job. I am out to dinner with my coworkers for our annual holiday-season dinner out. We are at a rather pricey, high-toned steakhouse. I am at one end of the table and one of the managers is at the other end, seated next to the office receptionist, a person who can be as dim as a starless night. I hear her order the surf and turf special: two lobster tails and a fillet steak. When our orders come, I see her look down at her plate in puzzlement. She gets the server’s attention.

Coworker: “Why is there a steak with my surf and turf special?”

Everyone on the table is stunned to silence. Then, the server clears his throat.

Server: “Um, ma’am, a steak comes with the surf and turf. It’s right there on the menu.”

Coworker: “No, it said a fish fillet!”

The manager grabs a menu that happens to be nearby.

Manager: “No, it’s a fillet steak. That’s the ‘turf’ part of ‘surf and turf’. It’s steak and seafood.”

Coworker: “But it said fillet! I was expecting a fried fish fillet! Don’t you folks have fried fish fillets?”

The server looks a bit alarmed.

Server: “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t serve fried fish.”

Coworker: “Are you sure? I’d really like some fried fish to go with my lobster tails.”

Server: “Sorry, ma’am, we don’t have anything like that.”

Coworker: *Resigned* “Well, okay…”

I and other people on my end of the table were trying to not laugh. She kept grousing all through the meal about how she had expected “a nice fried fish fillet” and had never ever heard of a steak being called a fillet before. The servers were bewildered enough by her, but he turned a bit pale when the manager then requested some ketchup to put on his steak! He complied, but it was a strange meal.

I made sure to slip the server a twenty out of sympathy; he smiled and we both rolled our eyes at them. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with them on a day-to-day basis anymore!

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