This Is Not A Feint

(My aunt has some fainting spells when she is a teenager, but she can feel them coming on. She and my mother are visiting their grandmother’s house when my aunt feels that she is going to faint.)

Aunt: *comes out of bathroom* “Grandma? I’m going to lie down on the floor right now and faint. Don’t be scared, okay?”

Great-Grandmother: “What?” *sees my aunt on the floor and starts screaming for my mom*

(Five minutes later, my aunt wakes up on the couch with a damp towel on her head, two fans on around her, and my mom fanning her. My great-grandma is frantically talking into the phone to my grandma — my mom and aunt’s mom.)

Aunt: “Hmm?” *groggy* “Grandma, I told you not to freak out.”