This Is Not A Drill, It’s A Kettle

It’s the early 90s, and I’m working in an out-of-town electrical store. We sell everything from batteries to plasma TVs.

One day, a gentleman came in to return a kettle. He was well known in the town because he owned a local fine dining restaurant, so everybody recognised him. He was well known for being a bit obnoxious.

Customer: “I want to return this kettle.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No, it’s faulty. I want a refund.”

At this point, my manager stepped in as he was also behind the counter. At the time, manufacturers would take back faulty items but only if we had a box, because the box would have the batch number and other information that they could use to determine whether there was a wider fault. Without the box, if we took in the kettle, it would be on us, not the manufacturer.

My manager explained this, but the customer was not happy. He didn’t have the box and didn’t care; he just wanted to return the faulty item.

Manager: “Do you have another proof of purchase? Like a cheque book stub or credit card receipt?”

Customer: “No, it was a £12 kettle. Why would I keep that?”

Manager: “I’m sorry, I can’t accept a return without a proof of purchase. We have no idea if you even bought it here.”

This went round a few times with the customer getting more irate each time.

The customer snapped, and he threw the kettle lead (which came with a UK-style moulded plug on it) at my management and stormed out of the store.

This was a mistake. Our manager was almost 7ft tall and built like the proverbial outhouse. He would lift washing machines (which are very heavy, typically about 30-40Kg, or 60-80lbs) and stack them three single-handedly. He also did not suffer fools gladly.

[Manager] followed the customer out of the store, and by the time he reached him, the customer was already in his car. [Manager] reached through the window and grabbed the customer by his shirt.

Manager: “If you ever threaten my staff or throw anything at them ever again, I will make you live to regret. Do you understand?”

What followed was a short discussion where the customer seemed absolutely stunned, either by his actions or the manager’s response. We couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation, which was done much quieter. After a few minutes, the customer blinked and then drove off from the store.

We were all stunned at this, the customer’s original actions, but more so the manager’s response, and we now had way more respect for him than before.

About four hours later, not long before we closed, Mrs. [Customer] came in. I recognised her immediately, and so I knew what was coming.

Mrs. Customer: “I’d like to speak to the manager, please.”

I got [Manager] and explained who it was, so he was prepared.

[Manager] came out. The rest of the staff were hanging around the counter at this point as it was almost the end of the day, and we were starting to do clear up.

Mrs Customer: “My husband tried to return a kettle this morning. He told me you threatened him when he tried to return it and grabbed him by the throat.”

Manager: “He threw a kettle lead at me.”

Mrs Customer: “He would never do that.”

Manager: “I have nine people here who will say he did.”

She paused and then seemed to accept that it might be true. She calmly reached into her bag, took out her cheque book, and showed a stub for £12.99, obviously covering the cost of the kettle.

She was very calm (unlike her husband), but I think she knew in the moment as she looked at us all that her husband probably had lost temper and done something stupid.

She got her refund and left.