This Is Literally Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

I was given a gift card for my birthday. I realize the expiration date is about to arrive, so I place an order for some kitchen items on a famous home store website on April eleventh. After a few weeks, I don’t receive the items, so I contact the store.

The methods of contact are either phone or chat, both of which have hour-long wait times. Their email customer service feature is currently disabled. Each time I contact them, I experience these wait times. The first time I finally get to an agent:

Agent #1: “Your items were damaged in transit so they were sent back to the store. I’ll re-input the order for me.”

Okay, great.

A few weeks later, nothing has arrived, so I contact customer service again.

Agent #2: “It looks like the last agent you spoke with inputted the replacement incorrectly. I’ll resubmit it for you, and I’ll do it correctly this time.”

Okay, cool.

Still, nothing arrives. I contact them again and asked to speak to a supervisor.

Supervisor: “I’m so sorry for the last two agents you’ve dealt with. I’m going to input a completely new order for you, and it will be free of charge.”

Okay, fine.

A few weeks later, I get a delivery confirmation. The items have been delivered to Washington, DC. I live in California.

Furious, I contact them yet again.

Agent #3: “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you.”

A few weeks later, I received an email confirmation that a new comped order had been submitted on my behalf and would be sent to… Washington, DC.

I give up.