This Is Honestly True

I recently finished building a shelf and ended up with an extra piece of wood that had been untouched throughout the project, so I head to the store with my receipt to return it.

Me: “Good evening. I need to return this board. Turns out we had an extra piece of clear pine in the scrap wood by mistake. Here’s my receipt.”

Clerk #1: “No problem! We just need to measure the piece and then we can process the return.”

I blink for a moment in confusion.

Me: “Why would… Wait, do people actually just cut off what they need and try to return the rest? I’d never thought of that.”

A second clerk picked up the board and headed off.

Clerk #2: “Honest people never do.”

Either my genuine befuddlement was good enough proof, or I just threw the employees off their routine, because I walked out of there with my money without them ever actually checking the board length to make sure I wasn’t stealing. Whoops?