This Is Becoming A Daily Grind

I work in an owner-operated diner. It’s relatively new to the area, so the owner is eager to encourage the community to try out the place. He sets out a free self-serve coffee station at the end of the counter, available in the morning only, to encourage breakfast traffic. A lot of people come in just to get some coffee, but the owner doesn’t mind, as it adds some vibrancy to the place, and other people see a busy diner and come in for that reason.

The first complaints come in that the FREE coffee is boring on its own and needs some extras, so one busy morning, he puts out some carafes labeled Regular, Decaf, Milk, and Sugar.

A man comes up with a scowl.

Customer #1: “Excuse me. Why does this say mil? What even is that?!”

Owner: *A little flustered, balancing trays.* “Oh, it’s milk, sir. I must have dropped the ‘K’ when I was writing it out. My mistake.”

Customer #1: “Hmph. Well, this is what happens when you doze off on the job!”

Owner: *Tight smile, still doing multiple things.* “Yes, sir. I’ll fix it right now.”

He grabs a marker and adds the ‘K’. Done.

The customer pours his coffee, but still with a scowl. 

The Next Day:

Customer #2: “Why is the creamer closer to the sugar than the milk? That’s not logical.”

Owner: “I set it down fast before the morning rush. You can still reach it.”

Customer #2: “Well, it’s confusing. I want it closer.”

Owner: “There’s no set order to them. They’re left in place by the last person to use them.”

Customer #2: “So that’s your answer? You’re blaming the customer?”

Owner: “I’m not blaming anyone, as there’s nothing to blame. You just pick up the carafe you need.”

Customer #2: *Mocking tone.* “So it’s not your fault. Got it.”

The Next Day:

Customer #3: “This coffee isn’t hot enough.”

Owner: “It was brewed five minutes ago. You can see the steam.”

Customer #3: “Well, it’s not hot enough for me.”

Owner: “I’ll brew a new pot for you.”

Customer #3: *Sighs.* “Fine, but I shouldn’t have to tell you and I shouldn’t have to wait.”

The Next Day:

The original complainer is back.

Customer #1: “Your cups don’t fit the lids properly. That’s unsafe.”

Owner: “They do fit, you just need to give them a little press until they pop.”

Customer #1: “Starbucks puts the lids on for you.”

Owner: “Starbucks also charges you over five bucks for a coffee.”

Customer #1: “Whatever. I came back again to give you a chance, but you’re all still so lazy.”

After a week of this happening daily, the poor owner has finally had enough. Still wanting to seem welcoming and good value, but wanting to filter out the complaining freeloaders, he removes the cups from the coffee station. You can buy a cup for a dime at the counter and still help yourself to the coffee. 

The original complainer returns again:

Customer #1: “Where are all the cups? You lazy bums are falling behind with restocking!”

I explain the dime cup policy.

Customer #1: “What?! That’s ridiculous! It used to be free!”

Me: “You know, sir, it was free. But people kept complaining about things that didn’t matter, like simple spelling mistakes, having to put the lids on themselves, and stupid stuff like that. The boss got tired of it, so he started charging.”

Customer #1: *Realizing, going red.* “Oh.”

He quietly slinks out, for once not offering a single word of critique. Sadly, while the number of complaints did go down, they still were frequent enough that they became more effort than they were worth, so we had to start charging for coffee like a regular diner after that, but at least that first customer never came back!