This Is All The High You Need

| Working | July 11, 2017

(A compensation agency just called the house and I happen to pick up the phone. I am a 16-year-old schoolgirl who doesn’t do drugs, has never been in a car accident, and cannot drive.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, I am calling from accident helpline in England.”

Me: “Oh, yes? About what?”

Caller: “You had a car accident recently, correct?”

Me: “Yes, actually, I did.”

Caller: “How long ago was this accident? It was recently, yes?”

Me: “Oh, yes. Yes, I had a car accident very recently.”

Caller: “And you were alone in the car?”

Me: “Yes, I was alone driving my car.”

Caller: “Okay, well you had this accident and it wasn’t your fault.”

Me: “Well, I can’t really say it wasn’t my fault. I took the cocaine. No one forced me.”

Caller: “…what?”

Me: “I took the cocaine.”

Caller: “Oh, Jesus.” *hangs up*

1 Thumbs