This Is A Weird Draft Of “Who’s On First?”

Two of my coworkers are both very proactive and eager to help. Unfortunately, this often translates into “half-hearing one side of a conversation and immediately jumping in with wrong information.” They literally had to have their desks moved further apart because they spent so long every day invading each other’s business and having to counter things being said that they weren’t getting their actual work done.

To make matters worse, two of our customers have near-identical but reversed names; think “Shop Smart” and “Smart Shop.” [Coworker #1] is the representative for “Shop Smart”; [Coworker #2] is in purchasing and is working on getting the parts for a big order “Smart Shop” placed.

[Coworker #1] is walking past and half-hears what’s going on.

Coworker #1: “Oh, is that the ‘Smart’ order?!”

Coworker #2: “Uhhh, yeah.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, great. I thought we couldn’t process that one.”

Coworker #2: “What? Why not? It’s for the new stuff.”

Coworker #1: “No, it’s not. It’s for [product line we no longer carry].”

Me: “Different orders.”

I’m not heard over the two of them talking.

Coworker #2: “What are you talking about? It’s like fifty pieces of [several new products].”

Coworker #1: “No, no, no. Hang on. Oh, this is bad! No, they ordered [old product] right before it was discontinued. I’ve been trying for a month to get this sorted!”

Guy Next To Me: “They’re different orders!”

He is also not heard.

Coworker #2: “That’s not even on this order. What are you—”

Me: *Basically shouting* “HEY, GUYS! Some of us are trying to get other work done! You’re talking about different orders!”

Coworker #1: “No, it’s the ‘Shop Smart’ order!”

Coworker #2: “No! It’s the ‘Smart Shop’ order!”

Coworker #1: “Yes, it… Oh. Hang on. That’s not my order?”

Everyone In Earshot: “NO!”

[Coworker #1] just sort of wandered off, mumbling to herself and sounding confused. [Coworker #2] threw her hands in the air and basically had to start over from scratch, but she at least got it set up right the second time, without any interruptions.