This Interaction Sounds Very Tire-ing

Yesterday, my dad told me to stop by his work and change my tires from winter to summer ones. I arrived just when they were having lunch. I loaded the tires and tools on a cart and moved it closer to my car. Around five minutes later, a car I had never seen before arrived. It was the typical family SUV, and it parked behind the building rather than in a parking space for customers in the front. This was strange.

A woman got out of the car and approached. I watched, wondering what she was going to do. When she came close enough to me, she could hear my car radio blasting, so she gestured to me to lower the volume, so that’s exactly what I did.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, when can I come and pick my car up?”

I didn’t know she thought this was an auto shop.

Me: “I dunno. Whenever you want, I guess?”

Woman: “Oh, that’s awesome. I’m going to go to [Store] and buy some stuff; I will be back in fifteen minutes.”

She then left the keys on my cart and walked off. I was confused about what she wanted from me. I assumed she wanted me to look after her car, because it’s quite common that other people bump their doors into your car and just leave. I didn’t take that as a problem since it was parked a few meters from me.

After maybe thirty minutes, she came back with two bags.

Woman: “Are the tires changed?”

Me: “What tires?”

Woman: “Tires on my car, of course! Have you changed them already?!”

I am easily pissed off if people talk to me like I’m some slave of theirs, but it takes a lot more to make me lose it.

Me: “Why the h*** would I change your tires?”

Woman: “Because you already pulled tires out of your shop, and you have the tools out, too, so that means you’re open for business!”

Then, I realized what was going on.

Me: “Do I look like I’m an auto shop?”

Then, the woman made a big mistake.

Woman: “Are you deaf or what, you fat moron? You have tools and tires out on a cart, so shut the f*** up and change my tires!”

This is the point when I snapped. Let me just tell you that the Czech language is very rich on swear words and we can make a swear almost out of any word, so the translation might not be 100% precise.

Me: “You f****** sack of s***! Who do you think you are, and who do you think your talking to? You’d better get the f*** out of here before I shove this jack right up your a**!”

Woman: “How f****** dare you to speak like that to me?! You’re lucky my husband isn’t with me; otherwise, he would f*** you up. Now, get the f*** to changing my tires before I slap your ugly-a** face!”

My dad came out from the back door having heard us screaming at each other.

Dad: “What is going on?”

Woman: “Your employee is refusing to change my tires and is being very rude and disrespectful to me.”

Dad: “He’s not our employee, and we don’t change tires. What the f*** are you doing back here, anyway?”

Woman: “I’m here to get my tires changed because my stupid husband doesn’t know how.”

Interesting how her husband went from “f****** me up” to not being able to change stupid tires.

Dad: “We are not an auto shop, so shut your g**d*** mouth and leave our parking yard.”

Woman: “So, you are rude, disrespectful, and confusing me instead of telling me that you’re not an auto shop?”

At this point, I saw her getting ready to slap me. I was still holding the pipe from the jack in my hand, so I did the simplest and probably the best thing I could do: I just raised my hand so when she was already in motion of hitting me, she hit the pipe. After that, she screamed in pain, ran to her car, and just drove off.

I don’t think she was hurt much because the impact of her hand on the pipe wasn’t even strong enough for me to lose grip of it.