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This Guy Should Be On The News

, , , , | Right | May 12, 2021

I’m about sixteen. A man who looks vaguely familiar wearing a baseball cap pulled low over his face and his wife push an overflowing cart into my lane.

Me: “Hi, how are y’all today?”

The man just grumbles.

Woman: “Oh, we’re fine, thanks. How are you?”

Me: “I’m doing all right!”

I start ringing up their groceries. My bagger is on break, so I’m bagging and scanning, and these two have A LOT of groceries. The wife is helping me bag, while the husband is standing there, scowling.

Me: “All right, your total is [total]. Will that be cash, debit, or credit today?”

The man grumbles about how expensive the store is.

Woman: “Credit, please. Just gotta find my card.”

Man: “This is taking too long!”

Woman: “Well, if you’d help this young lady bag, like I’m doing, we’d get out of here faster!”

Man: “That’s not my job!”

Woman: *To me* “Ignore my husband. He’s just hungry.”

Man: “HEY!”

His voice is super familiar as well. I think about it for a second and finally figure out who he is.

Me: “Hey, aren’t you [News Anchor]? You’re on [Local News], right?”

He stares at me in shock while his wife bursts into laughter.

Woman: “See, I told you someone would recognize you. Now, help me load the cart!”

He silently picks up a couple of bags and starts loading the cart. His wife is grinning as she swipes her card. I process the payment and hand her the receipt as he grabs the last bag.

Woman: *To me* “Thank you, sweetie, you were so helpful. Now, [Man], what do you have to say to this young lady?”

Man: *Sighs* “I’m sorry. It’s been a bad day.”

Woman: “Now we can go.”

Me: *Stifling laughter* “Enjoy your day!”

They exited. I made it to the breakroom before I started laughing.

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