This Guy Is A Few Slices Short Of A Pie

I’m a young female manager, and I’m only 5’2″, so I’m basically useless if someone were to physically attack me. I take a call from a guy at the local college campus saying that he hasn’t received the pizza he ordered an hour ago. I only have one record of an order with his unique phone number, and it’s from several months ago. He says that someone must have stolen his pizza, and I am to investigate this to no end to find out who the driver was, where he delivered it, and who it was given to, despite me telling him multiple times that we do not have an order for him, nor will my driver remember one specific delivery like that. I even check in the system and with the drivers, and there haven’t been any orders to campus today. The guy becomes unreasonable and belligerent, so I end the call.

He calls right back.

Customer: “I just saw the person who stole my pizza!”

Me: “Well, I suggest you take it up with them, then.”

I hang up and try to get back to work. He calls a third time, and I immediately hang up on him. Ten minutes later, a normal-looking college-aged guy comes into the store.

Customer: “Hi, I never got my pizza from an hour ago and I think someone stole it.”

Me: “Didn’t I just talk to you on the phone?”

Customer: “Yes! And even though you don’t believe me, it’s true.”

I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, put on my “I’m listening” face, and hear him out once more while he explains the situation again. Halfway through, he interrupts himself.

Customer: “Get that look off your face!”

I recoil in shock because I was simply quietly paying attention to his story.

Me: “I’m just listening to you, sir. If I have a look, it’s because I’m focused on what you’re saying.”

Customer: “No, you’re not! Get that look off your face! I know what you’re about to do! So stop looking at me like that!”

Me: *Surprised and a bit frightened* “I’m not ‘about to do’ anything. I’m just listening.”

He interrupts me by pointing a finger in my face.

Customer: *Sharply* “Shut up! SHUT UP!”

That’s when I straighten up and point to the door and tell him to leave. He refuses to leave and continues his tale of woe, demanding I show him the order screen of the only record of any order with his phone number. This still doesn’t satisfy him and he loudly proclaims that he doesn’t believe me. I told him I don’t care, and since he is being rude and hostile, he is to leave now.

Again, he refuses and invites me to call the cops. I push the panic button under the counter and continuously tell him to leave, and he refuses every time. He pulls out his phone.

Customer: “Want me to call the cops? I’ll call the cops.”

Me: “I already did.”

Several other customers arrived behind him to pick up their orders, and he started telling them all to watch out because we were going to steal their money and/or their food. Then, our owner called the store, since the panic button had been activated, and the cops showed up shortly after. The owner told me to tell the cops to not only escort the guy from the store but to remove him entirely from the property. The cops left with the guy, and I was left shaken and in disbelief of the whole situation.