This Guy Has To Be A Time Traveler Or An Alien, Right?

To be fair, this client is more of an old acquaintance that I’ve more or less adopted. He shows up every couple of years with a new idea he needs help with. The latest is a one-page website for his wood sculptures. He does all his email and web browsing at the library and calls from a pay phone.

Client: “I noticed down at the bottom where my email address is that when I click it, it launches some kind of email thing.”

Me: “What’s the problem? Is that the wrong email?”

Client: “No, it’s the right email. I just don’t want that on my website. That technology has got to be expensive and I don’t want to be paying for that, so just take it off. I just want my email there so people can read it. I don’t need any of this fancy stuff that makes things pop up.”

Me: “That’s how every email address on every site in the world works. It doesn’t cost anything. It’s just a hyperlink that launches your email client.”

Client: “You mean it doesn’t cost extra to make that happen?”

Me: “No. But now I’m curious. What do you normally do when you see an email address on a site and want to email them?”

Client: “I just get out a pen and paper and write it down. Then, I go to my Hotmail account and type in their email. Isn’t that what everyone does?”

Me: “Nope, you’re probably the only one.”

Client: “Okay, then.”

He paid me with a vial of gold nuggets, a mini-sewing machine, and a fishing knife. He offered me a homemade surfboard, but I didn’t have room for it at my place.