This Game Was A Titanic Undertaking

, , , , , | Friendly | October 20, 2020

My friends buy what looks like a silly board game simulating an escape from the Titanic and we sit down to play. To progress through the three levels of a ship, the players must land on specific spaces in each level. Each player also starts with a bellhop token that can be used to gain certain benefits and can be acquired by other players if they land on your space. The approximate playtime is ninety minutes. Simple, right?

Nope! Due to questionable game design and terrible luck with die rolls, in four hours, only three people have progressed to level three, two of whom have acquired all the bellhop tokens, and two players are stuck on level two. Then, the person who has the best chance of winning and ending this torment for us all lands on a square that sends them back to level one.

Player On Level One: “That’s it! I’m done!”

The player rolls high enough to move to a space on a game board next to a porthole.

Player On Level One: “I jump out the porthole.”

[Players On Level Two] also roll high enough to move to the side of the board.

Players On Level Two: “So do we!”

[Players On Level Three] don’t bother rolling.

Players On Level Three: “We lash our bellhops together into a raft and jump off the ship!”

And that’s how five stubborn adults rage-quit a children’s board game.

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