This Family Has An Ace In The Hole
Me: “So yeah, I’m gay. But I don’t know what everyone’s going to think about it. I mean, what would [cousin] say? What would Grandma say?”
Oldest Brother: “What would [Cousin] say?’ Really? [Cousin]?”
Me: “Well, not just her. But yes, also her.”
Oldest Brother: “[Cousin], who is over thirty and who has never even dated anyone her whole life? And wore a suit to my wedding?”
Me: “Yes, her! What if she says—”
Oldest Brother: “—Who owns at least three shirts with an ace-of-spades on it? With the purple, green, white, and black badges all over her bag? The one who signs off every text message with “the family triple-A battery”? THAT [Cousin]?”
Me: “Yes!”
Oldest Brother: “Then the only thing you’re going to have to worry about is how you will pass the IQ test they’re going to make you take.”
Yes. It turns out my oldest cousin is aromantic, asexual, AND agender, but so easy-going about pronouns that I just had never actually noticed. My coming out to the family went well. But I am still paying off my brother’s silence.
CORRECTION: A misspelled word has been corrected.
