This Explanation Never Gets Scold

(My sister is showing off by standing on one foot and holding the other foot up in the air.)

Sister #2: “That would be easier if you put your foot on the table.”

Dad: “[Sister #1]! No feet on the dinner room table!”

Sister #1: “I didn’t!”

Dad: “I was just yelling in advance.”

Me: “Preventative scolding. It’s the latest thing.”

Dad: “No, predictive scolding is the latest thing. Preventative scolding is the next latest thing.”

Me: “What’s the difference?”

Dad: “Predictive scolding comes first. With predictive scolding, you analyze past scolding and try to predict future scoldings, so you’re prepared to scold them when they’re needed. With preventative scolding, you scold them before they need scolding, so they never do the thing that would need the scolding.”

Mom: *looks bemused, and slightly amused*

Dad: “We’re working on predictive and preventative maintenance at work.”