This Evening Turned Out To Be A Waist

(My husband and I are out for the evening having a drink and a bite. As we order our drinks and pizza, we give the server our card to keep the tab open, and she sticks it in her pants — not her pocket, but inside her pants — as she walks away.)

Me: “Excuse me, but did you stick my card into your pants?”

Server: *looks at me oddly* “Yeah… it’s just the waistband.”

Me: “That’s incredibly unhygienic. Please, can you close our tab? We do not want to stay.”

(The server walks away and starts talking to another server, pointing at us. She comes back and throws down the bill.)

Server: “I sanitized it for you.” *walks away*

(After a fifteen-minute wait, I ask when the pizza is ready to go.)

Server: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Can you check if it’s twenty minutes, an hour…”

Server: “No. I will not serve a b**** like you.”

Me: “Ma’am, I was not rude; I just don’t like that you keep putting your hand into your pants and serving people.”

Server: “I’m refunding the pizza; you can leave.”

Me: “I would like to speak to your manager.”

(The manager came over with a refund for the pizza. I explained to him that the only reason I asked for him was because the server had sworn at me because I did not want to be served by someone sticking their hand and other items in their pants during work. The manager refused to give me a receipt of the refund and told me to leave. This is why locals stick to dive bars!)