This Door Shall Remain Closed To You
Criminal & Illegal, Editors' Choice, Hardware Store, Impossible Demands, Perfect Comebacks, USA, YMMV | Right
| January 11, 2026
DISCLAIMER: This story contains content of a legal nature. It is not intended as legal advice.
Customer: “Yo, where are the lock picks?”
Me: “Uh, like, for picking locks?”
Customer: “Obviously!”
Me: “Just double-checking, as it’s illegal to sell lock-picking tools to the general public. You have to be a licensed locksmith.”
Customer: “Well, how am I supposed to get into my house when I lost the key?!”
Me: “Call a locksmith?”
Customer: “They cost too much money!”
Me: “Drills are on the power tools aisle. Good luck.”
