This Doesn’t Sit Well With Us At All

I am on the train on my way home from university during the global crisis. Due to this and the fact that it is about noon in a smaller city, the carriage I am sitting in is almost completely empty. I decide that, rather than leave my laptop bag on the floor, I will place it on the seat next to me as I figure no one will want to sit there anyway.

Boy, was I wrong.

Enter an older lady. I can already tell we are going to have a problem when she gets on as she is not wearing a mask, and I can see a large crucifix on her neck. This is relevant because I am nineteen, I have tattoos and dyed blue hair, and I am wearing a mask I sewed myself. Oh, boy.

As she enters, she meets my eye and scowls, then walks towards me and decides she needs to sit right next to me, on my bag. I am very non-confrontational, but this is annoying me. She could have sat anywhere else, and I briefly worry she will break my laptop. I try to politely ask her to sit up for a moment so I can at least retrieve my bag, and she pretends she can’t understand me because of my mask. She just keeps repeating that I should remove my mask if I want to speak like a “civilised person”.

Eventually, I get fed up and just rip my bag out from under her, and I then make my biggest mistake by cursing under my breath. Suddenly, Karen can understand me perfectly and proceeds to yell at me about respect and God until my stop, despite me moving seats several times and blanking her.

The funniest part is that I volunteer at a nursing home, and I am Anglican, but I guess I don’t look like she thinks Christians should.