This Demand Is Not Very Grounded

I work at a call center for an online retailer. We ship everything from a warehouse in Missouri and offer free ground shipping to the 48 states. A customer calls me from Hawaii.

Customer: “Why isn’t the website offering me free ground shipping?”

Me: “I can see that you’re calling from Hawaii. If the delivery address is Hawaii, then we have to ship by air, so there is a shipping charge.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? UPS drives up to my house and delivers ground. They don’t drop packages off to me by airplane!”

Me: “I apologize for the misunderstanding. The package has to go by air because there are no ground routes all the way from Missouri to Hawaii.”

Customer: “Just ship it ground shipping and it will get to me no problems!”

Me: “I’m afraid that the system literally won’t let me pick any ground shipping options to Hawaii, the same issue you’re having.”

Customer: “Why can’t your trucks just make it from your warehouse to me?!”

Me: “Because trucks sink in the ocean.”

Customer: “Stupid girl!” *Click.*

I might have gotten into trouble for that one but thankfully that call wasn’t used in my bi-annual review!