This Customer’s Spirit Is Unsinkable

(I am quite well-spoken and have what many people refer to as a ‘posh’ accent.)

Me: “Alright, so that will be £24, please!”

Customer: “You’re far too posh to be working in a place like this!”

Me: “Why, thank you! I do tend to hear that rather often! I’ve got to pay my way through university somehow, I suppose.”

Customer: “Ooh yes! You sound just like that Kate Winslet!”

Me: “Um, thank you! Have a good night!”

(About one week passes, when the customer comes through again, this time with her entire family in tow.)

Customer: “It’s Kate Winslet!”

Me: “Hello again! How are you all this evening?”

Customer: “I’d be better if you could just talk at my kids a second!”

Me: “Okay then. I mean, what would you like me to say?”

Customer: “They’ve been watching Titanic all week getting ready for this. Say that bit when she’s stuck on the door at the end!”

Me: “Um… ‘I’ll never let go, Jack!'”

Customer: *to her kids* “Ha! Didn’t I tell you she sounded just like her?!”

Me: “Well, I’m glad you liked it. Is there anything else I can help you all with tonight?”

Customer: “Oh, no thank you, darling. Just stay as you are. It’s so nice to be served by people that are just so happy!”

(These customers are now regulars, who not only ask me to quote Titanic every time they come through, but also got one of my coworkers to do the ‘Gangnam Style’ dance.)