This Customer Cannot Be Buttered Up
I work in an upscale bakery-slash-café. A customer stomps up to the counter, completely bypassing the people waiting patiently.
Customer: “Excuse me! I’m in a rush. I need my order now.”
Me: “Hi there! The line starts just behind—”
Customer: “No, no. I called ahead. You should have my order ready. It’s under [Name].”
I check. There’s no order under that name or anything similar to it.
Me: “I’m not seeing an order under that name. Are you sure it was this location?”
Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid?”
Me: “No? I’m just trying to—”
Customer: “—I ordered a dozen butter croissants and two almond ones, and I need them now! I have brunch guests. I don’t have time for this!”
It’s Sunday, and our croissants sell out fast. The only ones left are the ugly ducklings: slightly overbaked, a little collapsed, slightly uneven, etc. But rules are rules. First come, first served.
Me: “Unfortunately, we’re sold out of fresh butter croissants. If you didn’t place a confirmed preorder, we can’t guarantee stock.”
Customer: “This is unacceptable! Get the manager!”
Lucky for me, my manager is literally next to me. She jumps in immediately:
Manager: “Can I help you?”
Customer: *Furious.* “Twelve… butter… croissants. Now!”
Before my manager can respond, the customer’s phone rings. He picks up.
Customer: “Yeah, I’m at the bakery now, they didn’t hold my order because some idiot forgot to place it yesterday—”
Pause.
Customer: “…No, I… I thought you were—”
Longer pause.
He hangs up without a word, turns to us, and grabs the sad croissants.
Customer: *Wind out of his sails.* “…Fine. I’ll take these.”
He leaves, crumbs of rage trailing behind him. My manager looks at me, shrugs, and grabs a fresh tray of dough.
Manager: “We should hold a stale one just for him. Label it ‘Emergency Croissant For Jerks’.”
And just like that, a new tradition is born.
