This Coworker Is Not Your Cup Of Tea

, , , , , | Working | October 19, 2018

(I’m part of a special projects team. We’re assigned to work on two separate projects. The problem is, they both have their weekly meeting at the same time, one in the conference room upstairs and the other downstairs. My team is three of us, so we split two and one to cover both meetings and trade off who has to be alone. This week is my turn solo. We’re also good friends. My team lead assembled us on purpose; we all work well together.)

Coworker: “So, what was the fight with [Team Lead] about?”

Me: “What fight?”

Coworker: “Sure, I know you can’t say bad things about your boss. What happened?”

Me: “We’re fine.”

Coworker: “Then why isn’t she in here with you?”

Me: “[Team Lead] is with [Other Team Member].”

Coworker: *like he’s won a point* “Exactly!”

Me: “You know we work on [other project], too, right?”

Coworker: “Yeah. I’m not stupid.”

Me: “So, they’re in the meeting for [other project] downstairs.”

Coworker: “Exactly! They’re off together without you because you had a fight with [Team Lead].”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “See? I’m smart; I notice things. [Team Lead] picks fights with you guys every couple weeks, and by next week, she’ll be mad at [Other Team Member] and leave him all alone!”

(I debate trying to explain that you cannot divide three people evenly into two locations, and then give up.)

Me: “You’re right. Don’t tell anyone else. [Team Lead]… drinks green tea. I couldn’t be around that. Black tea is the only true tea.”

Coworker: *nods, winks, actually lays a finger alongside his nose* “I getcha.”

(I told my team at lunch break and they bought me a sympathy cookie for dealing with him.)

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