This Cookie Has Cashed Out

(I am picking up some subs from my local sub shop. The lady helping me seems a bit gruff, but I just shrug it off. Once she rings me up and hands me my bag, I notice a basket of cookies. On the cookies is a sign that reads, “If we don’t offer you a cookie, you get one for free!”)

Me: “Oh! I don’t think you offered me a cookie. Do I actually get one for free?”

Cashier: “I did offer you a cookie.”

Me: “You asked for my name and told me my total. You never offered me a cookie.”

Cashier: “What is with you people and always trying to scam me out of the d*** cookies?! They’re five-dollar cookies. Why can’t you just buy it yourself instead of trying to make me look bad?”

Me: “Wow. Well, the cookie wasn’t that important to me, but I would like to see the owner, please.”

Cashier: “Oh, really? Now you’re going to try and complain over a cookie? You people are the worst.”

Me: “Please get the owner.”

(The cashier grumbles and walks into a back room. She comes back about five minutes later with a young man.)

Young Man: “Hi, I’m the owner. My colleague here was telling me that you’re trying to get a free cookie and getting very agitated with her due to a misunderstanding. If you have your subs, I am going to ask that you leave and not come back.”

Me: “Congratulations, that sounded very professional. If I were someone else, I may have believed you. Now, please go get the owner.”

Cashier: “He just told you he is the owner! Just accept that you were wrong and get out of this store!”

(At this point I’m fed up, so I pull out my phone and call the owner, personally.)

Me: “Hi, sorry to call you while you’re working. Would you mind coming up front for a moment? I’m having a bit of an issue.”

(The cashier looks skeptical about my call, but the owner comes out in less than a minute. The cashier looks horrified as I explain what happened. She tries to cut in a few times, but the owner shushes her.)

Owner: “[Young Man], is this all true?”

Young Man: “I’m so sorry, sir. I just went along with it because she said she felt like she was in danger, and we didn’t want to bother you while you were in the office.”

Owner: “[Cashier]! How could you do something like this?”

Cashier: “I don’t understand why you believe her! She’s just some b**** off the street, and I’m a loyal employee. You should believe me!”

Owner: “You have been here for a week, and this girl is my daughter!”

(The cashier pales and starts to try and sputter out a response as the owner takes her into the back. She comes out crying and shoves past me on the way out, glaring daggers at me. The owner comes back out to apologize and say she has been fired.)

Me: “Well, Dad, do I get my free cookie now?”

Owner: “Don’t call me ‘Dad.’ It’s weird! Here. Take a few cookies for your family, as well. Tell them I said, ‘Hi!’”

(The owner was a well-known volunteer in our community, and often worked with my family on different projects. Of course, I didn’t mind being his daughter for a few minutes to get those cookies! They were delicious.)