This Conversation Was Not Ballin’ After The Third Time

(We get a lot of families with kids that just want to look at the animals. Sometimes the parents can be a bit clueless when it comes to anything other than a dog or a cat, so I have to have this conversation every couple of months. It’s important to note that my store only sells male small animals: guinea pigs, hamsters, etc.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I think this hamster is having a baby.”

(I go to look because, even though it’s very rare, our supplier sometimes sends a female by mistake.)

Me: “It’s not having a baby.”

Customer: “Then it’s got a massive tumor! Something’s wrong with it!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a male hamster, and that’s not a tumor. Those are testicles.”

(They usually get really quiet after that.)