This Conversation Started At The Bottom And Got Worse

At my coffee shop, we use urns for our coffee that dispense from the bottom. Thus, every cup of coffee we serve is coffee from “the bottom of the pot.”

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Great, thanks. Listen, hun, can I get a cup of your freshest coffee?”

Me: “Well, sir, we brew coffee every eight minutes here, so everything is very fresh. My most recently brewed is [coffee]. Would you like a cup of that?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

I go over to that particular urn to get his coffee. While I was speaking with that customer, we took a drive-thru order for two large cups of coffee, so we are down to the last bit of the coffee the man ordered. I have to tilt the urn to get the coffee out, but there is a full cup for him.

The customer sees me tilting the urn.

Customer: “Hey… Hey! I don’t want the crap from the bottom of the pot! Give me fresh coffee!”

Me: “But, sir, all of our coffee comes from the bottom of the urn. The tap is at the bottom, see?”

I show him the urn.

Me: “If you don’t want this coffee, I can get you a different kind, but I assure you this is very fresh.”

Customer: “Fine! Get me [coffee #2], instead! And not from the bottom!”

I am confused, since all of our urns have taps at the bottom, but I get a new cup and begin to fill it with the new kind of coffee he specified.

Customer: “Hey! What did I say about giving me crap from the bottom of the pot?!”

Me: “But sir—”

Customer: “No! I do not want coffee from the bottom of the pot! What is that?”

He points to an air-pot of decaf coffee.

Customer: “I want that!”

Me: “That’s decaf. Are you sure you don’t want caffeine?”

Customer: “I want fresh coffee! Get me that coffee!”

I quickly get him a cup from the air-pot and hand it to him. He takes a sip and nods.

Customer: “Now that is fresh coffee. And none of that bottom of the pot s***.”

He paid and left happily, never knowing that the decaf was the coffee up next to be brewed, meaning it was the oldest, or that the air-pot’s pumping mechanism actually pulls coffee from the bottom of the pot.