This Coincidence Has Been Burning For 23 Years

, , , | Right | August 29, 2019

(I work in the reception of a holiday campsite where families can rent a caravan by the sea for a few days. A woman comes marching in.)

Woman: “Your cleaners didn’t do the oven out properly after the last person left!”

Me: “Sorry about that. Would you like me to get someone to do it out again?”

Woman: *ignoring me whilst pulling out a piece of cloth from her bag* “Look at this leg of lamb! It’s covered in black filth!”

(I undo the cloth to find a rather charred piece of meat.)

Me: “Are you sure you didn’t just burn it?”

Woman: “OF COURSE I DIDN’T BURN IT! I’VE WORKED AS HEAD CHEF IN [POSH HOTEL] FOR 25 YEARS! I KNOW HOW TO COOK MEAT!”

Me: “Well, I’m no expert, but I’d call this burnt.”

(The head chef from the onsite restaurant comes in to see someone.)

Woman: “IT’S NOT BURNT! ITS FILTH FROM YOUR UNCLEAN OVEN!”

Chef: “Excuse me, but that’s burnt.”

Woman: “I KNOW MEAT! I WORKED IN [POSH HOTEL] KITCHEN FOR 25 YEARS!”

Chef: “Oh, yeah, I remember that hotel. My uncle had to close it down after complaints of food poisoning 23 years ago.”

Woman: “UNQUALIFIED HACK!”

(She grabs her cremated lamb and leaves.)

Woman: “YOU OWE ME A NEW LAMB!”

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