This Caller Has Been Barred

(I’m the night auditor. It’s about 3 am and the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to check rates for these dates.”

Me: “Absolutely. We have two queens or a king for these prices.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. What is there to do in the area?”

Me: “We’re popular for our hiking trails and outdoor activities, as well as our variety of small breweries—”

Caller: “Are there any gay bars?”

Me: “Not that I know of.”

Caller: “What?! No gay bars?!”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Caller: “Well… where do you go?”

Me: “To… the regular bars?”

Caller: “Okay, because I got a couple of lesbians coming there for their honeymoon.”

Me: “Well, I assure you there are plenty of bars to choose from. So, how many nights shall I book you for?”

Caller: “Oh, I’ll have to talk to them.” *click*

(He called and had the exact same conversation with me three more times in two weeks before getting my manager, who told him he needed to stop harassing me.)