This Caller Doesn’t Measure Up

Caller: “I’m looking for stainless steel sheets. Do you have something like that?”

This is like calling a grocery and asking, “I’m looking for a green vegetable. Would you have something like that?”

Me: “Yes, what size and type are we looking for?”

Caller: “What do you mean, ‘type’? Are there different types?”

Me: “Yes, there are different grades of stainless steel, but if you don’t have any preference, that’s fine.”

Caller: “No, no preference.”

Me: “So, what size would you need?”

Caller: “I’m hanging it on a wall, so maybe like 4′ by 8′? 4′ by 7′?”

Me: “Sure, and what thickness?”

Caller: “Not really thick. What do you have?”

Me: “Well, we have a lot of options. What counts as ‘not really thick’ to you? 1/2″? 1/16″? 0.03″?”

Caller: “Uh… whatever would look good on a wall.”

Me: “Well… is there a load limit? A weight limit? You said you’re hanging it.”

Caller: “Yeah, so it can’t be too heavy.”

Me: *Already dreading the inevitable response* “Yes, and how many pounds would be ‘too heavy’ for your application?”

Caller: “Oh, you know… something kind of light but still sturdy.”

After another minute of dancing around like this, I flat-out had to tell him to call back after he took some measurements.