This Call Contains No Common Scents

(I’m male, and work in a service call center. A man in his 60s is on the line.)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [company]. This is [name]; how can I help you?”

Member: “Where are all the pretty girls?”

Me: “Uh… I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Member: “Every time I call, it’s always pretty women on your side.”

Me: “My apologies. I can talk in falsetto if you would prefer?”

Member: “No, no. Just put on some perfume and we’ll call it square.”

(I end up helping him with his reason for calling.)

Member: “Now don’t forget, something fragrant, but not overpowering as to give them young boys confusing desires.”

(Considering I am gay, and in no way flamboyant, I find this exceptionally amusing!)