This Brand Is All Smoking And Mirrors

(I work the night shift at a Midwest-exclusive gas station chain. Tonight one of the newer summer employees, a kid recently graduated from high school, is working until midnight. I’m having him watch the front counter to get more register experience. I notice a holdup in the line, stop the cleaning I’m doing, and walk over. One of the more “interesting” regulars is there.)

Coworker: “…so you want the [Cigarette Brand] light 99s?”

Regular: “Yes. The white box.”

Coworker: “So, these?” *holds up the cigarette box*

Regular: “No! Not the blue ones! The white ones?”

Me: *stepping behind the counter* “What’s up?”

Coworker: “She’s asking for the [Cigarette Brand] Light 99’s… I thought it was this brand, but maybe I was wrong?”

Me: “Funny, we only carry the 99s in two different kinds.” *turns to Regular* “You said [Cigarette Brand] Light 99s?

Regular: “Yes, I don’t see what’s so hard about that!”

(I head over to the cigarette holders, pick up a different box of the same kind my coworker is holding, and show it to the regular.)

Me: “Is this it?”

Regular: “Yes! Finally.”

Me: *to my baffled and slightly angry coworker* “Ring up the rest of these customers. I’ll take it from here.”

(I ring up the regular, and we get through the line of people within a couple of minutes. Afterward, my coworker turns to me.)

Coworker: “I had the right one! It was literally the same one you gave her!”

Me: “Yeah, I know. Welcome to retail.”