This Bluff Passes!

My downstairs neighbours are okay. They get loud a few times a year, and I had to ask repeatedly about them smoking on the balcony, stinking up my flat. It’s a no-smoking building.

Then, my neighbour got a new boyfriend and it all changed. He woke everyone up early with his stupidly loud motorbike that he was either revving outside or speeding around the streets. Then, his “friends” started to show up at all hours of the day, often with arguments or fighting.

He was scary, so I waited until he left and I popped round.

Me: “Hey.”

Neighbour: “Yeah?”

Me: “Listen, there’s been a lot of noise lately and I’m studying for my exams so I hoped—”

She suddenly cut me off with a long list of expletives.

Me: “Whoa, I just want you to be neighbourly.”

Neighbour: “Tough s***. We ain’t changing.”

Me: “You do realise the landlord is my uncle.”

Neighbour: “What?”

Me: “The guy who owns the building is my uncle, yeah? You never noticed that we had the same name?”

Neighbour: “I, err, got to go.”

It wasn’t true; it was a massive bluff. Our names aren’t even that similar. But it seemed to work; there were fights for the next few days and then nothing for months.

I figure she threw him out as I didn’t see him or hear him again. And I passed my exams!